Little johnny and proper grammar

[Ynot Cal]

LITTLE JOHNNY AND PROPER GRAMMAROne day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.

"Excellent, Michael!"

Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny...

Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just f*%@# beautiful!"

[Pipeman]

The teacher was asking students which part of a womans body enters heaven first when she dies.

One student said it was her arms raised up while praising the lord.

Another student said it was her head as it was always held high entering heaven.

So she asked little Johnny who replied that it was her feet. Teacher asked why would that be, little Johnny replied, " When i go by Mom and Dads bedroom a lot of times I hear her yell out as her legs are sticking up straight into the air, Oh my God I'm coming, my God I'm coming, oh yes yes yes!!! ".